Down by the Train Tracks
by babyk1nz
Summary: He was supposed to meet her at their spot - the train tracks - two weeks ago. He never showed up. And no one has seen him since. Now Peyton must face the world alone and try to find him before everyone gives up hope. Will he ever come back?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from OTH. Or Ben and Jerrys. But I love their ice cream :)

* * *

Peyton couldn't stand being there. At least, not without him. He'd been gone for two weeks now. Well, two weeks and one day. That was the first day that she'd been back to school, and she couldn't stand it. She had to get out of there. Lunch was starting in thirteen minutes, and she was entirely prepared to leave then. Everyone kept looking at her as if they were sorry for her, or that she'd gone crazy. Though they made have had a reason since she probably looked like she'd gone crazy because of the lack of sleep. She hadn't had more than a couple hours of sleep per day since the day he left. All she could think about was him. Where is he now? Why didn't he show up that afternoon? He always showed up, and was almost always there before she was. The questions continued to pour through her mind. It was all she could do to keep herself from thinking about him.

The bell rang startling her back to reality. Everyone got up to make their way to the courtyard for lunch. She stood up and packed away her books quickly so she could get out. As soon as she stepped out into the hallway, she felt overwhelmed. She slowly made her way to her locker to make sure she had everything she needed to go home. Her two best friends walked up behind her, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Hey P. Sawyer, you want to come have lunch with us all today?" asked Brooke Davis.

"Actually I'm heading home now. I just can't be here," she replied.

"Are you sure you want to do that Peyton? We can help you get through the day, it might be good for you," added Haley James Scott.

"Yeah, I really just can't be here anymore. It's too hard to sit around when I'm supposed to be learning and I look over and see his empty chair. I have to get out of here," Peyton explained.

"Okay, do you want us to come with you?" Brooke asked.

"No, I think I need to just be on my own right now. I'll be fine."

"Alright, well I'll come by after school just to make sure you're doing alright," Haley stated.

"And I can come by after cheer practice – with your favorite ice cream and we can blast your weird 'I'm lonely' music and eat terrible food that will make us regret it in the morning," added Brooke.

"Thanks guys. I'm glad I still have you two," smiled Peyton. _For now_, she added to herself.

She closed her locker and forced another smile to Haley and Brooke before heading out of the school. She quickly made her way to her car, thankful for getting away from everything. She sat in her car alone for a minute before starting the engine to take her home. She turned the dial to let the music from her Dashboard Confessional CD flow through the air.

She made her way through town, past the café. She used to love going there. It was always suck a warm, welcoming place with some of the best food she had ever tasted. Now it was a dark, lonely place that constantly reminded her of the missing part of her life. She looked out of her window, slowing down as she passed. She was shocked to see the sign read "open" for the first time in two weeks. She quickly turned down a side street and parked her car without thinking about her actions. She stepped out onto the uneven sidewalk and let her feet carry her up the steps and into the café.

Karen heard the bell on the door ring and she turned to greet her customer, and was surprised to see Peyton. The young girl looked almost lost as she stepped inside.

"Hi Peyton, I wasn't expecting to see you here," began Karen.

"Um, hi. I was actually just heading home, I saw that you were open again. I just kind of ended up here," she replied.

"Well, can I get you anything while you're here?"

"I guess I'll take one of your blueberry muffins if you still have any," Peyton requested.

"Yeah, I think I still have a couple left here," Karen said as she headed behind the counter while Peyton sat down on one of the breakfast stools.

"So you went to school today?" Karen asked trying to make conversation as she handed Peyton her muffin. There was only one other lady in the café reading a book as lunch rush hadn't started yet.

"Yeah, I thought that I should get back. I'm not really doing anyone any good by staying at home replaying that day over and over in my mind," Peyton answered.

"I did the same thing. Sitting around home regretting my words, wishing I could take it all back, and blaming myself isn't going to bring him home."

"Karen, don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. You were the best mother he could have ever asked for. I wish I had a mother like you," she answered quietly.

Karen watched the young girl in front of her speak. Her eyes were animated with emotion. Karen knew that she genuinely meant all of the things she said. Her heart went out to Peyton. She had been through so much in her short seventeen and a half years of life. No one should have to deal with the amount of pain that Peyton had lived through.

"Thank you Peyton. I guess as a mother I just naturally wonder if there was something more I could have done to stop this."

"I do too. Like what if I had called him ten minutes later? What if he said he had too much homework and couldn't meet me? What if he was out with someone already? All these scenarios play through my mind along with the questions."

Karen nodded at the young girl in pain. She waved at someone who had just come in the café signaling that she would be with them in just a moment. "I think we need to stop blaming ourselves, as you say. We can't change what's already happened. But maybe we can all come together and be strong for him. If we can all stay strong together, maybe we would be able to figure out where he is now," Karen said, making her way around the counter as a few other customers walked in.

"I think that would be okay. It would be nice to know that I'm not alone through this," Peyton replied with a small smile.

"Good because you aren't. If you want to talk, I'm here. And not just about this, about anything. I might not be in the best condition right now, but we're both strong women. We'll make it through. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go deal with a few tables for a couple of minutes. Lunch rush is always the worst," Karen concluded.

"Well I don't have much experience but I've seen Haley and him do it plenty of times, I can cover a couple of tables if you like, I don't need to be back at school or anything," Peyton offered.

"Well don't feel obligated to stay by any means, but the extra hands would be greatly appreciated," Karen said.

"No problem, it'll help me keep my mind off of him."

Peyton spent the next two hours gathering orders, filing plates, and cleaning tables. By the time the lunch hour rush was over Peyton was exhausted. The lack of sleep was taking its toll on her. She was just putting the last few dishes in the sink when Karen joined her back behind the counter.

"Peyton I cannot thank you enough for helping me out here. Hopefully this can help though," Karen said handing her $60.

"Oh no, seriously it's fine. I was just glad to be keeping busy and keep my mind off…"

"Well either way, you did a great job, helped me out a whole lot, and I don't let anyone leave without proper payment. You got quite the tips on your tables too."

"Well thanks then. It was nice being able to talk to someone," Peyton said.

"Yeah I agree. And thanks again for helping me out. I'm not sure I would've been able to handle it all by myself today. But I'll be fine now. You should go home, you look tired. Try to get some rest it would be good for you," Karen said.

"Yeah sounds good," Peyton said. She gave Karen a quick hug and walked out of the café. She walked down the steps and made her way back to the car.

She drove the rest of the way home and immediately went to her bedroom. Although she hadn't been able to get much sleep lately, she also hadn't been as busy or worked as hard as she had that afternoon. Peyton laid down on her bed without changing and quickly drifted off to sleep.

"Peyton!"

Peyton woke with a start, hearing her name being called followed by footsteps coming up the stairs. Haley appeared in the doorway after a few seconds.

"Oh! I'm sorry! Were you sleeping?" Haley whispered.

"Yeah, I guess I fell asleep."

"Sorry hun, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay, I'm fine," Peyton said.

The two girls talked about school and how Haley and Nathan were holding up. Haley didn't end up staying too long. Peyton was grateful that she still hand friends that would do just about anything for her.

Brooke showed up at Peyton's with Ben and Jerry's in tow. The three girls sat and talked for a while just spending time together for the first time in a while. After a short while Haley stood up explaining she should probably get back to Nathan and her homework. Brooke and Peyton spent the rest of the night together just being best friends again.

Peyton woke up very early in the morning, before the sun came up. She was careful not to disturb Brooke's sleep since she slept over. Peyton slid out of her bed knowing that she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. She picked up Brooke's t-shirt that she had changed out of the night before and walked over to where Brooke left her purse. As she put down the shirt she noticed the corners of a picture sticking out of Brooke's purse. She carefully removed the photo and saw that it was a picture of the gang at the river court. It was taken only a few days before he disappeared. She looked down at herself and noticed how happy she looked. Peyton felt like this was a lifetime ago, back when he was still with them all.

She closed her eyes and let her mind take her back to that afternoon when they had all agreed to meet up at the river court. It had been a long time since they all got together and just hung out together. She remembered Brooke pulling her camera out of her purse; using any excuse she could to have a photo-op. She began taking pictures of all the girls together, then some of the boys playing basketball. Before she could stop him, Skills had grabbed her camera and started taking pictures. Everyone laughed and finally they all got together where Skills captured the moment in time. Peyton hadn't seen how the picture had turned out until now. Nathan had his arms around Haley from behind as she made a face because he was still sweaty from playing basketball. Mouth had an arm around Brooke's shoulders while they both smiled at the camera. Peyton was standing next to him. They were facing each other and were both staring into each others eyes. It was like they shared a secret without even speaking. Peyton put the picture back in Brooke's purse. She made her way to her computer to find a scrap piece of paper. She wrote a messy note to Brooke telling her that she had gone for a walk and would see her at school. With that, Peyton grabbed a sweater and made her way out of her house.

She let her feet guide her. In her mind she automatically assumed that she would end up where she always went. Down to their spot. No one knew they met there often whenever she needed to talk to him or he needed to talk to her. She was surprised when she looked up and found herself at the River court. She saw another figure running around bouncing a basketball. She went over to where he was shooting. He hadn't noticed she was there.

"Bit early to be out shooting free throws alone isn't it?" she questioned.

He turned at the sound of her voice, startled. She saw him relax when he realized it was just her.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to wake Haley either, so I came here hoping it could help," he responded.

"Ah. So what's keeping the great Nathan Scott awake in the wee hours of the morning?" Peyton asked him.

"Thinking about him. I just can't figure anything out. I don't have any ideas about where he could be now. What about you? What are you doing here?" he responded.

"Same as you. Just thinking about him."

Nathan nodded and took another shot.

"You can't give up on him though. He's out there somewhere. I know it," she added.

"He's been gone for over two weeks now Peyton. What are we supposed to think? I'm just not sure if he wants to come back now," Nathan said sadly.

"Of course he does! He wouldn't just leave and not come back without an explanation. He's not like that. He's coming back," Peyton replied.

"I hope so. We need him back – all of us."

"He'll come back," Peyton said quietly almost as though she was telling herself.

The two said goodbye to each other, assuming they would see each other later that day at school. The sun was coming up now, the fire lighting up the sky. Peyton decided to walk through town a little bit more before going back home. She thought about what Nathan said. She knew that it wasn't true; she knew that he would come back. She walked past the alleyway that led to their secret spot. She couldn't go down to the train tracks now. She made her way back home where she began to get ready for another long day at school.

By the time Peyton stepped out of the shower Brooke was awake. The two girls got ready for school and grabbed a couple of breakfast bars before heading out for the day.

Peyton managed to make it through the entire day of school. When the final bell rang she made her way to her locker where she met Haley. The two were heading to the cage together. Haley was going to work, and Peyton was going just so she didn't have to be alone.

Karen still looked very tired and was grateful for the extra set of hands when Haley and Peyton came in. The café wasn't busy, as it was between the lunch and dinner hours, so the three girls had a chance to sit down and talk with each other. They made small talk for the most part; avoiding what was on each of their minds. Although they never mentioned him, Peyton knew they were all thinking about him. She could also see that everyone was beginning to have doubts like those she heard from Nathan that morning. Peyton was worried about what everyone was thinking. No matter what they thought, Peyton was not going to give up. She knew he was out there, she could virtually feel it.

After a few hours, Nathan walked in coming from basketball practice. He greeted Haley with a kiss then met eyes with Peyton. The way he looked at her was almost as if he was saying he was sorry. Peyton grabbed her bag from the stool next to her and said a quick goodbye to everyone before leaving the café in a hurry. She wasn't in the mood to deal with Nathan right now.

Peyton threw her bad down on the passenger seat as she climbed into her car. She slammed the door shut and started the engine. She pulled out of the lot knowing exactly where she was headed.

A few minutes later she put her car into park and stepped out. She walked a short distance down a hill and through a forest. She slowed down as she entered a clearing. She looked to her left then right, down the train tracks as far as she could. The tracks had forest on either side of them, secluding them from any town. She was no longer close enough to hear any cars or noise coming from the center of town. It was silent, just like it had been for the past two weeks. She was alone. She walked a few feet to the right where there were a couple of big old tree trunks they used to sit on together.

As she sat down she finally let the tears fall from her green eyes. She completely let go of her emotions knowing that no one would see her. Her body was bent over as she sobbed for a few minutes, letting her pain consume her.

A few moments later she used the corner of her sleeve to dry her eyes. Her sobs had died down, and all was quiet again. She thought about what Nathan said to her again. She wondered whether anyone else really was feeling the same way as him. She prayed that no one had truly given up on him yet. In her heart she knew that she never would. She knew he would come back to them all.

"I'm still here."

Peyton whipped her head around, frantically looking for the face of the voice she knew so well.

"Lucas?" she demanded.

"I'm still here, Peyton," his voice vibrated through her head.

"Where are you?" she said now standing walking along the edge of the forest, hoping to find the source of the voice.

"I'm locked up in this place, I'm not sure where it is. Please don't give up on me Peyton. You're the only person I can count on now. Please don't give up on me."

"Luke I'm here! I'm at the train tracks. I'm not giving up on you! Just tell me where you are," Peyton said now hysterically screaming out to no one with tears threatening to fall for the second time that afternoon.

She got no reply this time other than a few birds flying out of trees, and small animals running scared from her sudden outburst. She felt her knees go weak as she collapsed to the ground.

"Lucas… please come back here. I'm still waiting to meet you down by the train tracks."

* * *

**Okay, so this was just an idea that sort of came to me. I'm not sure whether or not I'm just gonna leave it as a one shot, or if I'll write a story and go into more detail about what happened. Any thoughts of what I should do?**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I decided to try out making this into an actual story. Just so this is less confusing for people who read the last chapter... this one is before Lucas and Peyton actually met. I'm going to write about how they met and how they came to get close, then it will lead into the first chapter. Hopefully this doesn't confuse anyone! If you have any questions, definately let me know and I'll try to make it seem less confusing. :) Hope this lives up to your expectations!!!**

* * *

Peyton was sitting on her hard computer chair staring blankly at the screen. She had just said goodbye to her dad again. Her dad left her standing alone on the port as she waved goodbye for what seemed like the hundredth time that year. He was leaving for over three weeks this time. That's all he ever did now. Ever since she turned sixteen last summer he was never home. Apparently he trusted her judgment and said that she was old enough to handle things on her own. He always left her with lots of money for "emergencies" knowing that most of it went towards buying food and music. Except one time when she went out and bought paint and he came home to find that she had painted her bedroom walls red. He was pretty surprised to say the least. He also always made sure that the house was fully stocked with food before her left and he always had someone stop in to check on Peyton at least once – depending on the length of the trip.

Despite all of these things that he did for her, while he was away – including calls and text messages (which Peyton had to teach him all about) – it still never made it any easier to say goodbye to him each time. It still left her with an empty house for lengths at a time. It always left her lonely and dependent on herself. Peyton always knew that if she felt the need to that she could call him and he would come home in an instant for her, but she would never do that. She knew that he loved his job and he loved all the travelling and perks he was getting out of it now (including the large raise). She knew that she would never take that away from him, not after all that he had done for her. He did a pretty good job raising her on his own after her mother died.

Most kids would have loved to be left alone with their own house, car and lots of money. Normally that would be a kid's dream come true. And there were kids that lived like that. There were kids that lived alone in a mansion and spoke to their parents once a month to tell them to send more money. There were students that had parents who stopped caring years ago and had their own car. That's what life was like in Tree Hill. And Peyton was still getting used to it. It was amazing the number of sixteen and seventeen year olds that lived basically on their own. How messed up is that? Then parents, teachers and everyone wondered what happened to them all to make them all so messed up. Take a look around you! Look at what you've done to all the kids! It wasn't right and everyone probably knew it.

Peyton continued to sit at her desk in an empty house. She knew that she would turn out the lights in an empty house again and fall asleep alone. She was a teenager- she should have loved the idea of that. Ever since her mom died she'd gotten used to having her dad around. He'd always been there for her. Ever since Peyton's mom died she'd always been a little bit afraid of being alone. Now, her dad was gone too and it seemed like she was constantly living out her fear. But he'd never know that. She would never ask him to stay home.

Peyton looked through the music tracks on her computer. She spent most of her nights alone doing just that. She'd listen to music, find new music (mostly from Myspace) and draw. That is unless she did end up going out. She had just finished a sketch and turned on the song Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin.

_This flood is slowly rising up swallowing the ground  
Beneath my feet, Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition so  
I'll swim as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down  
And now all I can see are the planets in a row  
Suggesting it's best that I slow down  
__  
This night's a perfect shade of  
Dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning down  
Dark blue  
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you  
I said the world could be burning dark blue_

Peyton heard a car door slam shut and she stood up from her hard desk chair to look out of her second story window. She saw her best friend's light blue convertible Volkswagen beetle parked outside her house. She sighed as she wanted back to her desk to begin shutting it down. It was Friday night and Brooke was bound to show up at some point. She never stayed at home on a Friday night. Actually Brooke Davis never stayed at home any night. She was the one who had parents, but they didn't care where she went or when. Her mom hadn't given her the time of day since she gave Brooke her own credit card back in freshman year.

The front door creaked open and then clicked shut a few seconds later followed by Brooke's footsteps climbing the stairs to Peyton's room.

"Peyton!" she called out.

"Don't even ask Brooke. You're not dragging me out tonight," Peyton replied just as Brooke enters the room.

"Who said I couldn't come over to visit my very best friend? Why do I have to be here to ask you to come out with me?" Brooke asked trying to act innocent.

"Brooke, it's a Friday night, you're wearing _that _shirt, and when is the last time you came to my house just to visit me?" Peyton responded curiously.

"Okay fine P. Sawyer. But you can't just sit around listening to your sappy punk music feeling sorry for yourself when there is a kick ass party going on at Nathans house tonight!" Brooke tried.

"Scott? I don't know Brooke. I always feel so weird when we go to these parties. You know everyone, and I'm only there cause I know you. Plus I don't feel like taking care of drunk Brooke tonight," Peyton said already knowing that she would be going anyways.

"Oh you won't have to. I'll be good. Plus, you know some people there – _everyone _will be there, it's a can't miss party Peyton. You have to come. I've already decided that you're coming," Brooke said confidently.

"Ugh, fine. Give me a second to change. I don't know why I'm friends with you sometimes," Peyton said going to her closet.

The two girls stepped out of the car that was now parked on the street a few houses away from Nathan's. They always tried to space out the cars a little bit so it wasn't completely obvious where the party was. Although most of the time, everybody found out from word of mouth anyways.

"Peyton, do you think this shirt is too much?" Brooke asked turning to her as they crossed the street.

"Brooke, you're shirts are always too much. Your skirts sometimes are too but you're Brooke Davis. The boys all eat you up, and on Monday half the girls at school will be wearing a shirt that they will spend hours looking for in the mall this weekend to find either that exact shirt, or one that looks as close to it as possible. Yeah, the shirt is too much for a party like this, but somehow you always get away with it," Peyton replied with a smile.

"Thanks P. Sawyer. Have I told you that you're my best friend lately? Cause you are," Brooke said happily as they walked up to Nathan's door.

"Yeah, well I should be, since I'm about to enter the house of doom with you."

"You'll be fine, and I'll be good so you won't have to 'take care of me' like you always tell me that you do. Just have fun for once!"

"Easy for you to say…" mumbled Peyton as Brooke opened the door and they walked in together.

The music was blasting and there were already red plastic cups scattered across the floor in various rooms. Nathan's coffee table and couches had been pushed out of the way in the large living room and now there were various couples all moving together, grinding to the music. Most of them also had a plastic cup filled with their choice of alcohol and were making out furiously with whoever they happened to be dancing with at the moment. The kitchen was all lit up and had nearly as many people in it as the living room did. Nathan's parties were always packed to the point where it began to become difficult to get through the crowds from one room to another.

"Brooke! Brooke's here!" someone called out.

Nathan's head stuck out from around the corner leading to the kitchen at the sound that the most popular girl in school had just walked into his party.

"Davis! Get your sexy ass over her!" he shouted at her, clearly drunk already.

"Okay… well the people call. Mingle Peyton, and don't look so lost. The people here do love you, you just have to let them," Brooke said encouragingly.

"Go have fun Brooke… I'll make sure that you get back to my place safely," Peyton said knowing that Brooke would need someone else to get her home by the end of the night.

With that, Brooke headed off to the kitchen to say hello to everyone there and presumably to get her first drink. Peyton walked through a narrow hallway made even more narrow by the kids that were lined up to get to the bathroom. She found her way to the back door where she slid it open and stepped out onto Nathan's back patio. There were only four or five other kids standing outside as most of the other students wanted to be back inside where the party was. Peyton kept to herself as she walked over to one of the lounge chairs and sat down. She was still feeling sorry for herself but knew that she had to get over it sooner or later. There were plenty of kids who had it worse than her. At least she still had a dad who took care of her. He still loved her with all his heart, and Peyton knew that. And at least she had a best friend who, no matter how popular she was, would drop whatever party she was at if Peyton needed her. Brooke was a party girl, but she was a best friend at heart.

Peyton stood up from her chair and headed inside. She figured if she was here she might as well get a drink. Even if she had to be the girl drinking by herself, at least the drinks would help numb her. She slid the glass door open and immediately felt the heat hit her with force from inside the house. There were so many bodies everywhere that the house was heating up quickly. She wove her way through the crowds of people and made her way to the kitchen. She grabbed a plastic cup that looked like it hadn't been used and poured vodka into half the cup. She searched through the rest of the bottles there and finally found some orange juice to mix in with it. It she was going to be drinking, she could at least make it taste good.

"That's a pretty light drink there for Brooke Davis' best friend," she heard from behind her as she took a big sip of her drink.

"Yeah well, I'm not exactly the drinker that Brooke is. Plus, it's actually not at light as you would think if you saw how much vodka I actually put in here," Peyton replied.

"So you aren't a drinker… but you're saying that you're poured more vodka than juice in there? Kind of contradicts each other don't you think?"

"I'd rather not," she replied taking another sip.

"Rather not what? Drink?" the mystery guy asked.

"No, I'd rather not think. Because if I let myself do that, then I'd probably start rambling on about what I was thinking about. And I don't even know your name," Peyton said.

"So? I don't know your name either. But I've seen you around school. You're always with Brooke. You guys are like inseparable despite the fact that everyone knows her, and apparently no one knows you."

"I guess it's just kind of hard for me to let people in. Has been since before high school. But Brooke was already my best friend when everything changed for me."

The boy nodded and leaned up against the counter still looking at her. Normally, she would have felt uncomfortable with this, but somehow she knew that he wasn't looking at her in a 'how can I get your upstairs and naked?' kind of way, but more like a 'I can understand that you've been through a lot, but what can be so bad that you can't let people in?' sort of way. It was almost like he was trying to figure her out while he was standing there with his arms crossed, one leg bent with his foot resting against the back of the cupboards and a slight grin on his face.

There was a crash and a yell that came from the living room, where the majority of the people had now moved. The mystery guy stood up straight and dropped the smile from his face. He rolled his eyes before looking back at Peyton.

"I better go see what's going on in there… you know… make sure that Nathan has everything under control," he said as he began to make his way to the living room. He turned around to look at Peyton once again. "By the way… It's Lucas. My name is Lucas."

Peyton smiled at him watching his retreating figure walk away. She looked down to the cup in her hand and finished whatever was left all in one sip. Maybe the only way for her to finally fit in with everyone that Brooke hung out with was to become one of them. Peyton turned around and poured herself a second drink, one that contained just a bit more alcohol this time and went to the living room to find Brooke.

As she walked through people looking for her best friend, she could feel the first effects of alcohol. Peyton had been to her fair share of parties in her high school years. She went along with Brooke to nearly every weekend. She knew what it was like to get drunk. She wasn't nearly as bad as Brooke with her drinking because she knew that most nights, she was the one who had to make sure that Brooke got home safely. Peyton never drank too much, but tonight was different. She didn't care about making sure that she and Brooke got home safely. They were already safe in a big house, and Nathan would never notice if two extra people crashed there. Neither of Brooke's parents would care what time she was home, and clearly her dad would never find out either. It was finally time for a night to let loose.

By the time she found Brooke, she had walked through the entire main floor of Nathan's house four times. Each time seemed to take a little bit longer, and seem a little bit bigger. Finally, she spotted her best friend sitting on one of the couches next to Nathan with many other boys around her.

"Brooke! B. Davis! Best buddy, there you are," Peyton said coming over to Brooke.

"Peyton… are you drunk?" Brooke asked skeptically.

"No… you know me I don't really drink. I'm the good friend, I take care of you. I just had a couple drinks. It's cool. I'm fine. Mmmhmmm," Peyton said drawing out the last syllable.

"Oh man, P. Sawyer. I need to get you out of here," Brooke said standing up.

"Why? I'm fine… you have fun. I'm just going to lie down and sleep a bit," Peyton said as she practically fell to the ground and closed her eyes.

"Brooke, just leave her. She's fine here… I'll get Luke to take her upstairs if it'll make you happy. But you should stay here with us," Nathan said to Brooke. Brooke looked back at Peyton lying on the carpet before she finally nodded her head. "Hey Luke! Buddy, can you take Peyton here upstairs and put her in the guest bedroom. It seems that she can't handle the party like the rest of us," Nathan said taking another sip of his drink and chuckling at his own words.

Luke, the mystery boy, came into the living room where he saw Peyton lying on the floor. He looked at her with a different look in his eyes, that everyone seemed to notice.

"You okay man? You been drinkin' too?" Nathan asked.

"No, I just didn't know her name until now. Peyton. It's a nice name," Lucas replied.

"And she's a nice girl. So could you please do me a great big huge favour and keep her safe? You're probably the only one here who hasn't been drinkin and would know how to make sure she stays safe," Brooke said to Lucas.

"Yeah, I'll take her upstairs," Lucas agreed. With that, he bent down and picked up the small girl in his arms and began to take her up the stairs.

"Somehow I don't think you're Brooke," Peyton mumbled when she felt herself being lifted off the ground.

"Well, at least you can tell I'm not Brooke Davis," Lucas said with a laugh. He kicked open the door to the guest bedroom and walked inside. Everyone knew that when you went to Nathan Scott's you just didn't go upstairs, to any room. No one was allowed up there, except for Nathan himself, and his brother – Lucas.

As Lucas placed Peyton on the queen sized bed she rolled over to face him and opened her green eyes.

"You're Lucas," she stated.

"That I am," he agreed.

"And I'm…" Peyton stopped.

"You're Peyton. Nathan told me when we were downstairs," Lucas explained.

"No… I'm… gonna be sick," Peyton said standing up from the bed and rushing to the bathroom.

She felt someone come up behind her and hold her curly hair back from her face as she let the contents of her stomach pour into the porcelain bowl in front of her. After a minute she sat back and she felt her hair return to her neck. She heard the toilet flush and saw a glass of water in front of her face. She looked up and looked gratefully at Lucas who was still standing above her.

"Well this is embarrassing," Peyton said, suddenly feeling embarrassed and much more sober than she did twenty minutes ago.

"I deal with this every weekend. Except most of the time it's not with beautiful girls," Lucas admitted with a shrug of his shoulders.

Peyton could feel her cheeks turn even redder from Lucas' comment. She looked down at her feet before looking back at him.

"I'm not normally like this. I'm supposed to take care of Brooke. It's just that I feel like I have so much to deal with… and this just seemed so easy. I could drink and just forget about having to keep it all bottled up for a night," Peyton said quietly.

"You don't have to keep it bottled up inside you know," Lucas replied.

"Huh, well honestly there isn't really anyone to talk to. Not that would listen anyways. It's basically a really long story, and even if someone was there, I don't know who would want to hear my problems."

"I would," Lucas said simply.

"Oh it's okay… and like I said, it's a really long story to explain everything," Peyton said again.

"Well, I don't know about you… but I've got all night," Lucas said with a smile as he stood up and held out his hand.

Peyton smiled at the boy in front of her as she took his hand and let him lead her back to the bedroom where they both sat down on the bed, somehow knowing in their hearts that this night would change both of their lives. It already had.


	3. Chapter 3

"My mom died when I was eight," Peyton began. "It was the hardest thing I'd ever faced up to that point. I mean she was the most important person in my life then. Even more important than Brooke. She was the one who was always there for me when I had a bad day at school. If I came home unhappy then she'd take me window shopping in downtown Tree Hill and then we'd go home and make a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Sometimes we made a different kind, but those were my favorites so we usually made those. Whenever I was sick she'd always sit on the big chair next to my bed and read me one of my favorite books or she'd tell me stories after she tucked me into bed really tightly to make sure I was warm. She was my best friend, she was my guardian. Even now I think her death has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through," Peyton said taking a break.

Lucas nodded his head letting her know that he was listening but unsure of what to say.

"So I guess after she died I shut myself off from the world. I was afraid to let anyone in, but at that young of an age I don't think I realized what I was doing. I was really hurt when she died. I mean, it's like any kid losing their mom. It's tough. But Brooke was my best friend. She was there the day that my mom died. She was the one who held my hand throughout the entire funeral. She was the one who explained to the teachers why I continued to do so poorly even after my dad sent a note to the school. She was the one who yelled at kids in the school yard who made fun of me because I was so quiet. I was scared of letting anyone else in, because I didn't want to end up losing them. I guess that's the way it still is with me. I've always wanted to keep myself and my heart safe from feeling any more pain than necessary.

"I can understand that. But if you just shut yourself off from the world like that, and close off your heart to anyone and everyone who comes along, are you really living your life?" Lucas asked.

"No, I guess not. I think a part of me realized that when I got to high school. I became pretty close to Haley James too, I don't know if you know her. She's really quiet too so I guess that's what brought us together at first. She's been a good friend to me too. I had the odd boyfriend here or there for a few months, trying to let someone in, but it never lasted. Mostly because I wouldn't let it last. I always let them go before I could get really close to them or they could get close to me. But last year, in grade ten, I fell in love. I think I fell in love before I even really got to know him. His name was Jake. He was everything I ever wanted in a guy. Well everything I wanted in a guy when I was only fifteen. But a few months after we finally got together he had to move away. His dad got transferred and he moved down near Savannah. I was so crushed. He was honestly probably the first person that I ever let get close to me after my mom died and he ended up leaving me too, causing my heart more pain. After that I think part of my heart just shut down. It got too tired of dealing with pain and sorrow. It was like the happiness that I felt was so temporary and the pain was so permanent. My body, mind, and heart were so used to feeling pain that it was just easier to feel nothing," Peyton explained.

"But is that the kind of life that your mom would want you to live? Or even Jake for that matter?" Lucas wondered. "Because I don't know anything about your mom except for the few things that you've just told me, but I do know my mom and I don't think any mom would want her child to live that unhappy. Everyone deserves happiness."

"I know that, but it just seems like I can't find happiness. Something always gets in my way of being happy for long. Even when I just want to feel happy for a night and I drink to let it all go, eventually that feeling disappears too."

"Yeah, but don't you like feeling happy?"

"Of course I do. What kind of a person says that they would rather feel pain than happiness?" Peyton questioned.

"Well I guess only the really messed up kind. So at least you can take comfort in knowing that you aren't that messed up. It's not like you're the kind of girl who would need years of therapy to help you out because these events in your life have left you that messed up. So you're a little broken and a little lost right now. You'll find you're way eventually. We all do. It just takes a little bit longer for some of us," Lucas stated.

"You seem like you've been through some rough patches in life yourself," Peyton observed.

"Yeah, well. Growing up with just my mom because my dad abandoned both of us after she got pregnant her senior year tends to do that to you," Lucas replied with a shrug.

"Your dad really did that?" Peyton asked amazed.

"Yeah, apparently he wanted to raise Nathan and stick with his mom instead of me and mine."

"Nathan… wait. Are you saying that you and Nathan have the same father? As in you two are brothers?"

"Well technically half brothers, but yes," Lucas answered.

"So that's why you were allowed to take me up here… because Nathan is your family?" Peyton wondered beginning to put the pieces together.

"Yeah. And even though Dan, my father, chose to actually be a father to Nathan and marry his mom, Nate hasn't exactly had the dream life that everyone thinks he has," Lucas said gently.

"What do you mean?"

"Well after his mom left his dad, Dan sort of took it out on Nathan. I think he may have even abused him a couple of times too. But Nathan would never admit that, not even to me. His dad was really hard on him with everything. But mostly with his basketball. He made Nathan work incredibly hard, to the point where Nathan had no life other than basketball. That's when Nathan really started to rebel. He got really sick and tired of dealing with Dan's shit so he started partying. Then he started throwing the parties when Dan would go away for the weekend to the beach house to take his bitch of the week up there. And I was always the one that got dragged into these things to make sure that nothing happened to the house, or Nathan. I guess I have the same duties that you do with Brooke."

"Mmm. But, if you two have different moms and different households… were you guys always close? If you don't mind my asking… I mean if you want to talk about something else that's totally fine. I understand completely so don't feel like we have to talk about this. I know what it's like to…" Peyton went on.

"Peyton, you're rambling. And it's fine. For some reason, I don't mind talking about this stuff with you. You seem like someone who will actually listen but not make me feel sorry for myself about it. So anyways, Nathan and I actually used to hate each other. Like we were complete enemies. I guess I hated that my dad chose him and his mom, Deb, over my family. And he hated me simply because I existed and I was his dad's son too. It was sort of like he hated that his dad had another family that didn't really include him I guess. But that all changed in high school. Long story short, it was basketball that brought us together. We both love playing, and although my dad never pushed me like Nate's dad did, it was something that we had in common," Lucas told her.

Peyton nodded her head, feeling her eyes droop. The alcohol had completely worn off by this point and she was beginning to feel exhausted.

"You know, I haven't told anyone these things about myself in a long time. And even though I've realized that I closed myself off from the world, and shut my heart out I don't know how to change that. But talking with you tonight, somehow gives me hope that I really will figure things out. Is that crazy that I feel like that with you?" Peyton said closing her eyes.

"I don't think so. I think everyone needs to find some hope in their life. Whether that's by talking to someone they just met, or walking through a park on a sunny afternoon, or hearing the laughter of others; everyone needs to find hope in their lives. And once they have hope, they can have faith that it will always remain somewhere deep inside of them. No matter how dark things look," Lucas whispered.

"Thank you for talking to me tonight Lucas. I really hope that I'm not crazy in trusting you. But I trust you, and that's why I told you everything," Peyton mumbled as her head slid down from the position she was sitting in so that it rested itself on Lucas' shoulder.

"You're not crazy Peyton. You can trust me. I promise," Lucas said. He slid down slowly so that he wouldn't disturb Peyton anymore than necessary but so that he was now lying down. Peyton still had her head rested up against his shoulder as the two fell asleep next to one another.

"What do you think happened when they came up here last night?"

"Well I don't know, but I know that Peyton isn't stupid… even when she is drunk. Plus, they both have all their clothes on."

"Yeah, but they might have just put them back on or something."

"Do you realize how stupid that even sounds?"

"Okay sure, but it's really no fun to think that they just came up here last night and then fell asleep. I can't rag on him for falling asleep next to a girl."

"He's your brother! Be nice Nathan."

"Just like you said Brooke, he's my brother. I'm supposed to rag on him."

"No you aren't. I'm older than you are… I'm supposed to rag on you," Lucas mumbled from his spot on the bed.

Nathan and Brooke both turned in their spots to the voice that surprised them.

"How long have you been away Lucas?" Brooke whispered.

"Long enough to hear your entire conversation about what you both think happened last night," Peyton replied.

"P. Sawyer! You're awake too," Brooke commented.

"No shit Brooke. You aren't exactly the quietest person that I know. And no offence Nathan but neither are you," Peyton said as she opened her left eye.

"Well then. I guess since we're all awake… do you guys want to get some breakfast?" Nathan asked bluntly.

"That's just like you Nate. First thing you think about is food," Lucas answered.

"Well I don't know about you two but I could definitely go for some food, I'm starving," Peyton stated.

"Probably because you puked up everything that was in your stomach last night," Lucas answered.

"Oh man. I'm sorry about that. That's really embarrassing. I can't believe you saw me do that," Peyton said turning red at the thought.

"Not only did I see it, I was there to hold your hair out of your face and everything."

"Don't tell me anymore. I'm already embarrassed enough of last night."

"It's fine. Nothing I haven't dealt with before," Lucas said with a shrug of his shoulders as he sat up, removing his arm that was across Peyton's mid section.

"Well… thanks," said Peyton also getting up.

The four walked downstairs where they took in the mess that had been left behind for Nathan and Lucas to clean up. There were still plastic cups scattered everywhere, and bottles that littered the main floor. There were even a few random pieces of clothing left behind as well.

"Let's clean this up later. My dad shouldn't be home until tomorrow anyways. But I wouldn't mind taking a shower before we grab breakfast… you guys cool with that?" Nathan said.

"Yeah, as long as I can take a shower too," Brooke answered.

"Right, yeah of course. Um, you girls can use the bathroom upstairs that in the bedroom that you and Luke slept in last night, and Luke and I can use mine. Not together of course," Nathan added.

"Thanks Nathan," Brooke said taking Peyton's hand and leading her back upstairs to the bathroom where she could take her shower.

The two walked into the bathroom where Brooke turned on the shower and then turned to Peyton who was now sitting just outside of the bathroom on the edge of the bed.

"Okay P. Sawyer, spill," Brooke said leaning against the doorframe.

"What do you mean Brooke?" Peyton asked lamely.

"What was that all about last night… getting drunk off your ass. You were the one who didn't even want to come out. Then you end up drinking me under the table and sleeping in the same bed as Lucas Scott. I didn't even know that you two were friends! And I'm your best friend!" Brooke stated in a 'duh' tone of voice.

"Well first of all, I wasn't planning on drinking at all. I guess it just sort of happened. And I'm not friends with Lucas. I hadn't ever talked to him until last night actually. But he carried me up here like a knight in shining armour… I know that's so cheesy. And he made sure I was okay when I was puking as you heard earlier. And then for some reason, after the alcohol had mostly rid itself from my body, I told him all about my mom and how I closed myself off to the world. I just came right out with it. And he listened the whole time and didn't judge me. I felt comfortable talking to him. Like I could trust him, even though I didn't even know him. That's weird isn't it?" Peyton replied.

"I don't know. Maybe a little bit. But only because you're such a romantic at heart with all your "knight in shining armour" shit and then not letting anyone in to your life," Brooke answered as she walked back into the bathroom to get ready for the shower.

"I don't regret it though. I didn't even explain that stuff to Jake when I was with him, and I had no problem telling Lucas all about it. I just think it's weird how comfortable I am with him. When's the last time I let someone in like that, and trusted my choice?" Peyton called out to the bathroom.

"Well maybe this is what you need. I mean you know that you need to do something about your trust issues and your issues with opening up and letting people in, so maybe this is the first step to doing that," Brooke called back from the shower.

"Yeah I guess it could be."

"So man, what happened?" Nathan said as soon as the two girls left the room.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Lucas replied as he headed into the shower.

"Come one man… don't tell me that you're still pulling that 'Mr. Nice guy' things and taking care of everyone."

"Nathan, she was blitzed beyond belief. Now you might find this shocking, but when someone is throwing up and beyond common sense, most people don't take advantage of them."

"Okay, okay. But I can't believe that you were like her freaking 'knight in shining armor' and took care of her and all that shit, and _still_ didn't get any!" Nathan said searching through drawers in his dresser for a t-shirt and pair of basketball shorts.

"I was not anything of the sort. I simply lead her to the bathroom and then back to the bed when needed. She clearly couldn't do anything on her own, and I figured that you wouldn't want some chicks barf in your bed this morning. If anything, you should be thanking me," Lucas said with a smirk.

"Ew, nasty. But thanks for that much. Just next time do yourself a favour and don't let her get away so easily," Nathan repeated.

Lucas sighed as he turned the water off. "Nate, just let it go. My life isn't like yours, and frankly I like it that way."

"I don't understand you sometimes Luke. However, if you choose to spend your weekends alone, or taking care of some lonely girl of the weekend then so be it,"

Lucas wasn't sure what to say to Nathan's comment so he just stayed silent. He got himself ready to go out to breakfast with the girls while Nathan jumped into the shower to wash up.

Finally, half an hour later the girls made their way down the stairs to meet Nathan and Lucas who were sitting somewhat impatiently for the girls to finish.

"Oh, so you two decided to join us then?" Nathan retorted when he saw them.

"It's not my fault. I had to practically drag Brooke away from the mirror," Peyton stated timidly as she looked at her feet.

"Hey, sorry that I care about how I look. But I have a reputation to keep. And there is no way that I would ever go out in public without makeup, especially when I'm with the crew?" Brooke defended.

"The crew? What crew?" Lucas piped up.

"This crew; us four."

"Since when have we been a crew?" Peyton asked looking at the two boys who looked as confused as she felt.

"Since I decided right now. Anyways, I'm hungry, so let's go get some food… crew!" Brooke said as she began to walk out of Nathan's house in front of the rest of the new "crew".

"Well this is new. I don't think I've ever been part of a 'crew'," Lucas said to Peyton as they made their way to Nathan's car.

"Neither have I. But you probably could have guessed that from all the embarrassing stuff I told you last night," she answered.

"What embarrassing stuff? You didn't tell me anything embrrassing… that would have made the night much more interesting," he added with a smirk.

Peyton sent Lucas a small glare before going on. "I told you all about what happened to me and all that personal stuff. That's embarrassing."

"No it's not. That's your life. You've had to deal with some pretty shitty stuff in your short life. And maybe you've dealt with it differently than others would have, but you aren't anyone else. That stuff you talked about last night was simply your life and what you've had to deal with in the past growing up. There's nothing to be embarrassed about your life," Lucas told her.

"I guess when you say it like that it makes me feel a little bit better about telling you all that stuff. But only a little bit better. I still don't really know why I did it to be honest."

Before Lucas had the chance to say anything back they heard a voice bring them back to the real world.

"Hey kids, stop flirting and get in the car! We're hungry!" Brooke yelled from her spot in the front seat of the car.

Peyton blushed as Lucas let out a small laugh and opened up the door and let Peyton in. It had already been a long morning, and they were only heading out to breakfast.

* * *

**Okay, I know I've been gone for a while. Sorry about that. I really don't have any excuses, so I won't make up any.  
Either way, I really hope that if you read this last chapter that you liked it... to be honest I'm not sure I'm liking this story a whole lot anymore. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it or not. I guess I'll wait to see if I get inspired haha.  
Hope everyone had an awesome Christmas as well!! (If you celebrate Christmas) :) **


End file.
